Using Graphics For Evil: Why I Deserve A Raise (Part 1)

There are two groups of people in the world, those that understand the persuasive power of effective communication techniques, and those that are persuaded by the first group. Now, I'm not advocating the use of these techniques for immoral personal gain - a diabolical agent of manipulation could certainly take advantage of our built in cognitive biases for his/her own ends ...but I could really use a raise. 

1)  People make decisions based on emotion (emotional reasoning). Once you've gotten a positive emotional response from the viewer/listener they probably won't notice irregularities in your data. After all, you've already made up their mind. 

I'm always the first person to help out, the first one to pitch in.You just can't measure that kind of individual impact in sales charts!

2)  Claim what isn't yours (personalization). Remember, there is no such thing as natural growth. While you're at it, take responsibility for future growth in the same area (jumping to conclusions).

My new word of mouth campaign has been boosting sales since we released the new product. Just look at this 20% increase! By years end, we'll easily hit our targets...

3)  A quick warning, only take responsibility for positive trends and outcomes.  As soon as things go south, blame factors outside your control (self-serving bias).

Buyer behavior has really changed these last few months. It's inevitable that we suffer some losses as we adjust to the new demands of the marketplace. Here's my analysis on where we've gone wrong...

4) When all else fails, be confusing and technical. Most people will pretend they understand in order to avoid looking dumb.

Using a proprietary mathematical model, I've run some regressions to figure out where the revenue is really coming from. Those initiatives I pushed for have driven almost all of our growth this quarter...

Once you've mastered the art of obfuscating data and manipulating the facts, you'll be well on your way to a career in journa...I mean polit...howabout just getting that raise?